


Trying is caring

by zakari_little_lion



Category: Astrid et Raphaëlle (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24796378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zakari_little_lion/pseuds/zakari_little_lion
Summary: While Raphaëlle obviously knew that Théo and Astrid had bonded together over the last few months, her heart still swelled as hard as the first time at the sight of it.
Relationships: Astrid Nielsen/Raphaëlle Coste
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	Trying is caring

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Elmup for proof-reading this

Raphaëlle’s keys jingled loudly into the silent night as her cold numb fingers were desperately trying to open the front door. She had been at it for nearly thirty seconds and she could swear that freaking keyhole just kept on moving around. There simply was no other explanation at why it was taking her such a ridiculous amount of time. She whined in sign of capitulation and threw her head back before letting out a long exasperated sigh.

Tiny snowflakes landed on her face, their coldness extinguishing the small fire of irritation residing inside her belly right now. It had been slowly snowing for over an hour and the night had overtaken Paris only a few minutes ago. The snowflakes tumbling down were small and sparse but mesmerizing nonetheless. The dim street lighting almost gave them a magical glow and was Raphaëlle not absolutely fucking freezing her ass off, she would have appreciated the scenery even more. It was apparently too warm for the snow to stick. Snowflakes landed quietly one after another onto the pavement and immediately metamorphosed into water. Tiny puddles blossomed here and there, bearing witness of their annihilation.

As much as she was thankful that the snow wasn’t sticking, it meant less risk for falls for her and making driving less difficult, she also knew Théo would be disappointed. That kid loved him some good old snowball fights.

Wind forcefully gusted by unexpectedly and she yelped in surprise. Shivers ran all over her body and the cold seeped straight into her bones which made the Commander feel even chillier. She hugged her beanie, her scarf and her coat tighter to her, muttering a swear word under her breath through chattering teeth. She brought her hands close to her face and blew on them to warm them up. It wasn’t as effective as she would have liked, but still, her fingers felt a little less dead than before so she took the small win. She needed to get inside before turning into a human ice cube right in front of her home. That would be very unfortunate.

By some miracle, she eventually found the keyhole and she almost cried in happiness. She rushed inside and she almost cried again when warm air hit her. Her skin tingled at the sudden change of temperature but she was too overjoyed to linger onto the small disagreement. She quickly shut the front door behind her.

“Mom!” Théo rushed to her side and crashed into her.

Raphaëlle had to take a few steps back at the forceful impact. He was obviously getting too big for this, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. She was nowhere near ready for the day he would stop being so happy to just see her and he would no longer launch into her arms. Or at least, not with as much enthusiasm.

“’Evening sweetheart,” she hugged him back happily, relishing into his embrace.

From afar she could see Astrid standing in her kitchen, a few pans in front of her. She waved at her with a gentle smile and Astrid waved back, her eyes glancing in between the food and Raphaëlle.

Her son’s arms tightened around her waist and he eventually pulled away. She pecked his forehead before allowing him to truly separate.

Astrid seized the opportunity that her girlfriend was busy with Théo to let her eyes wander more thoroughly onto Raphaëlle’s figure. Her black coat was buttoned all the way up, something rare enough to be eye-catching, and she was wearing her scarf and her headgear. Long and utterly disheveled brunette hair left little doubt about the windy weather roaming outside. The documentalist could also make out her reddened nose and cheeks, indicating that not only was it windy, but also cold. Yet, Raphaëlle’s grin was warm and her attitude sunny as she interacted with her son.

Astrid felt her blood pressure increase significantly, her stomach twisted into uncomfortable knots just like it did whenever she was extremely anxious, her mouth grew a little drier, and her heart felt like it had just skipped a beat. She had learned by now that those were her telltale signs for love. Whenever she was experiencing a wave of affection towards the Commander, they would barge in.

She still wasn’t one hundred percent comfortable with the symptoms the feeling was inducing on her body. It was always a lot in a short amount of time, a surge. Nonetheless, though she hated how queasy her stomach felt every time, she very much enjoyed the heat that emanated from her heart to then wander through her chest. She knew it was just a trick of her brain on her parasympathetic nervous system and as much as she disliked the idea of her brain playing tricks on her, this one? This one, it turned out she didn’t mind as much.

She adverted her eyes when the wide smile that had been unconsciously overtaking her features was starting to make her cheeks hurt. Her fingers contorted quickly and she focused her mind back on the meat. The symptoms drifted away as she tended to their dinner.

“You’re just on time to set the table! Dinner’s almost ready!” Théo informed his mother with a cheeky grin as he walked away backwards.

“Oh, so I just got back from work and _I_ gotta set the table?” Raphaëlle chuckled playfully.

“Well, yeah. I’m already helping Astrid cook. Simple and fair distribution of the household chores, mom,” he teased with a smirk.

“Mmmh-mmmh. Using my own words against me, aren’t you?”

He shrugged nonchalantly at her before taking his place back next to Astrid and grabbing a knife to get back to work. Raphaëlle shook her head in disbelief but her smile told she wasn’t truly mad.

She took off her boots and carefully lined them up next to Astrid’s. She then took the rest of her winter clothes and her coat off and just as previously, meticulously put them in their designated spot. She noticed Astrid’s blue backpack resting at its usual spot next to the hallway console and she placed her keys into the newly acquired blow sitting on top of the console, something Astrid had been adamant about them having. And Raphaëlle had to admit, she hadn’t lost her keys once since they had bought it. She took a few moments to appreciate the warmth surrounding her and she fixed her probably crazy-looking hair. Her tensed shoulders relaxed at the prospect of spending the night in with her family.

The brunette walked up next to Astrid who was turning over the poultry. “Good evening, darling,” she leaned her hip against the counter.

“Good evening, Raphaëlle,” Astrid greeted her girlfriend back as she tilted her head toward her but didn’t make eye-contact.

The documentalist put the wooden spoon down onto the spoon rest and checked the vegetables one last time before putting the lid back on top of the pan. She turned her body towards Raphaëlle to face her. Her brunette hair was still tousled even though she had obviously tried to tame it so Astrid gently put a few brunette locks back were they belonged. She hummed satisfyingly once she was done. Her eyes deviated from her hair to her girlfriend’s dark brown eyes. Once again, the symptoms re-appeared: queasy stomach, quickened heartbeat, warmth spreading through her chest... _Love_.

She opened her arms as a silent invitation and Raphaëlle didn’t lose a second to move closer. She hugged the blonde tightly. Astrid grinned widely at the strong and protective hold, her body couldn’t help but melt under it. The brunette knew exactly how to hug her the way she needed. Enough pressure to help her relax but not enough to make her feel like she was suffocating. Skin prickled where hair brushed against her neck and her temple and she felt the familiar weight of Raphaëlle’s head rest onto her shoulder. Arms secured their grip around her waist, one of her safe spot whenever hugging.

She settled her hands onto the brunette’s lower back. The flannel material of the Commander’s shirt felt soft under her fingertips so Astrid indulged her aching fingers and delicately twiddled with it. After a few seconds of blissful pressure, Astrid pulled away. Before she could get too far though, Raphaëlle gently cupped her face with both hands and pulled her closer until their lips met for a quick yet tender kiss. Shy goosebumps erupted as cold nose and hands touched her skin.

Countless rituals and habits had flourished since they had first started dating. And this, was one of their newly acquired ones. Whenever the other would get home, they would hug and then they would kiss. Sometimes, the… domesticity, for the lack of a better word, of it all still felt strange to the documentalist. Astrid still couldn’t figure out why, while she was so touch-sensitive, she was finding herself looking forward those little touchey-feely rituals with Théo and Raphaëlle.

William had told her it was because Astrid loved them. And that along with this love had come a bond just as important: trust. And because she trusted them to such an extent, she wasn’t anxious about the planned physical contact and instead let her body enjoy their neurotypical way of them showing her their affection. And William had been right. Both Costes knew that in those little moments, it was okay to be touching because she was expecting it and they always made sure to respect her safe spots. She did trust them.

Still, it was quite confusing and sometimes, if she thought too much about it, she would get a headache. She hated not understanding. It was like an enigma waiting to get solved. Except feelings weren’t enigmas. They didn’t have any answer, they weren’t meant to be solved, they were meant to be appreciated. It was a hard concept to grasp because what Astrid appreciated was the solve.

“Hey, where did you go just now?” the Commander leaned back against the kitchen counter.

Her voice sounded concerned or worried, Astrid couldn’t exactly tell and her furrowed brows didn’t help her decide. The statement confused her though, and she vocalized as much.

“I did not move.”

Raphaëlle and Théo softly chuckled which only deepened her confusion.

“I meant, you seemed deep in thoughts. Everything okay in that pretty head of yours?” she gently hit her temple with her index finger.

“Ah,” Astrid said as she finally understood. So it had indeed been concern on her girlfriend’s features. “I am fine, Raphaëlle. I was merely thinking about how much I enjoy our planned physical interactions.”

From the corner of her eye, Astrid could see the brunette’s lips turned into a bright smile, teeth and all. She furtively glanced up at her eyes and, maybe it was just the lighting, but they looked just as bright and lively as her grin.

“Yeah? For realsies?”

“For realsies, yes.”

“What about me, Astrid? Do you like hugging me too?” Théo said.

He had finally finished cutting up the fruits into little cubes so he put the knife and the now fruit-juice-soaked board into the sink.

“Of course,” Astrid leaned towards him until she was mere inches away from his head. “For realsies,” she added with a mirthful smile.

The blonde hoped she had just skillfully bantered and the laughter filling the open space told her that she indeed had. Astrid happily joined in, their cheerfulness was too communicative not to. Or contagious, as Raphaëlle would say. She was still struggling to understand how it could be contagious, though. Her fingers squirmed around rapidly in pride and excitement. So much excitement she even flapped a little, something she rarely did.

Raphaëlle was kind of awestruck. Her girlfriend was getting better and better at teasing and her progress never ceased to amaze and amuse her. Just when she thought she had finally figured out all about how her girlfriend’s brain was working, Astrid would keep her on her toes by saying or doing something unpredicted.

“Coste, best huggers from mother to son, Astrid-approved,” Raphaëlle declared proudly and loudly as she held her hand up for a high five from her son.

The documentalist flinched at the abrupt raise of voice followed and the loud bang of hands clapping together. She quickly covered her ears and tilted her head away, uneasiness creeping up on her.

“Right, noisy. Sorry darling.”

“Sorry Astrid.”

The blonde waited until the small sounds weren’t so loud before lowering her hands.

“Alright, I’mma set the table because it smells absolutely fantastic in here and I’m famished. What did you guys prepare?”

“Chicken piccata.”

“Can’t wait! Is-is that Nirvana that I recognize?” the Commander asked as she focused more onto the background music while setting the plates down.

It was on fairly low, as music usually was in the house whenever Astrid was with them.

“Théo has been teaching me about rock music. Nirvana is one of the most popular and influential groups. As such, we decided to listen to their second studio album from 1991 since it is Théo’s favorite,” Astrid informed her as she helped Théo assemble the dessert.

Before Raphaëlle could say anything and freak out on him, her son barged in. “Don’t worry mom, I’m only playing the like, really soft songs.”

Raphaëlle let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “Thank you, baby. That’s very thoughtful of you.”

* * *

“I swear my fingers were starting to turn blue,” Raphaëlle said after sharing her misadventure with the front door keyhole from earlier.

Théo, who was sat next to his mother, laughed.

“Ah! I noticed you were not wearing your gloves when you came in. I put them into your pockets this morning,” Astrid pointed out and glanced up to give Raphaëlle a meaningful look.

“I know, darling. That was really kind of you. I didn’t want to forget them so I put them on top of my desk, so they’d be right in my eyesight.”

Astrid was now perplexed. It didn’t make any sense. “Why did you not use them, then?”

“Because I forgot them. On my desk.”

“And to say you’re always pestering me when I forget something,” Théo muttered under his breath.

“Hey, I’m not deaf yet, I heard that,” the Commander softly nudged her son in the rib.

Astrid raised both of her eyebrows. “But you just said-”

“I know.”

“That you put them on top-“

“I know, I know.”

“I am not finished,” the documentalist’s fingers contorted more rapidly.

She was a little upset at being interrupted.

“I know I said I put them on top of my desk to not forget them. Honestly, I was very tired after writing so many reports. They completely slipped my mind. I was too eager to get home, to Théo and you.”

“Nice save, mom.”

“Eager to get home. To Théo and me, yes.” That part, the documentalist could easily understand, she was often eager to get home too after a long day at work. A quiet and safe place away from all of those tiring social interactions and messy anxiogenic situations. “You should be more careful, you could get sick.”

“Aw, you worried about me?”

“I am very often worried about you. You are a Commander, you are reckless and often short-tempered, prone to-“

“Okay, okay, I think I get it.”

Théo’s eyes widened at the blonde’s comment and he pursed his lips. He knew Astrid wasn’t saying that to be purposely mean, she was merely stating facts but, it didn’t mean the harsh words didn’t hurt.

“I am not finished.”

“Remember that exchange you had with your social aptitude group about pointing out one’s flaws?” Raphaëlle suggested patiently with a calm tone.

She knew Astrid didn’t mean anything by it, she hadn’t intended to be hurtful. It was sometimes hard to keep her cool and explain to the blonde why the way she worded her thoughts wasn’t socially acceptable and how upsetting it could be to a neurotypical person. It was even harder when she was on the receiving end of it, but she’d bite the bullet and take the time to explain each time.

“It is socially improper.”

“Exactly.”

Astrid registered the information and she tried to link the pieces together, a deep frown emerging on her face as she did so. It suddenly dawned onto her that her words had probably been hurting her girlfriend’s feelings. An unpleasant feeling settled in her stomach, as if she had eaten too much too fast when she had merely taken five bites out of her main course yet. If she wasn’t mistaken, she was feeling guilty.

“I am sorry if I offended you Raphaëlle.”

“It truly is okay, darling,” she said truthfully. “I should know better than trying to be too playful by now. I know it’s not easy for you to identify.”

“Yeah, it’s okay, Astrid. Happens to the best of us,” Théo seconded his mom, not wanting Astrid to feel bad just because she had been herself.

“The best of us. Yes.”

* * *

Later that night, both women were lying in bed. There, too, was a certain ritual to it.

Sometimes, Astrid would talk Raphaëlle’s ears off about puzzles and the brunette would happily listen to her passionately ramble on and on until the blonde was yawning every few words. Sometimes, Raphaëlle would just go and on about “neurotypical nonsense” as Astrid had once put it with a teasing smile. It was a great opportunity for them to learn about each other, to bond and just openly communicate. It also greatly benefited their relationship since, without really noticing it, it helped them apprehend Astrid’s autism and Raphaëlle’s neurotypicality.

The only forbidden talk in the sanctuary of their bedroom was investigations, on-going or solved. Any work related stuff was not to be talked about in their sacred nest. All other rooms were fair games, just not their bedroom. Which sometimes would lead to one of them dragging the other out to the living room at three in the morning to talk because they had suddenly had a break. It was never a pleasant experience, but they were making it work.

Tonight, they had opted to continue the audio-book they had started earlier this week. Astrid was self-stimulating away with her baguenaudier as Pierre Garel’s voice filled their room, now on his way to recount them the ninth chapter of the crime novel story. Raphaëlle was leisurely snuggled into her girlfriend’s side, her fingers absentmindedly rubbing the documentalist’s thigh. As it wasn’t one of Astrid’s safe spots, she had asked first and the blonde had happily granted her permission. Two chapters later, it was agreed that it was time for them to go to sleep. They lay down, letting about a foot in between them. It was just enough space for Astrid not feel crowded yet still protected. They discussed the book a little, sharing theories about whom the killer might be and their motive.

Eventually a comfortable silence took over. The sheets moved around every so often, indicating Astrid was stimming with her hands.

“I gave it some thoughts and I have to admit I think you look rather lovely wearing your scarf and your headgear.”

Of course, Astrid had to have given it some thoughts first. Nevertheless, the brunette giggled like a smitten thirteen year old teenager, blush tainted her cheeks and her heart swooned at the unprompted compliment.

“I… Thank you, darling. That’s really nice of you to say.”

“You are welcome.”

“You know this thing you said earlier tonight?” the Commander said tentatively. “About me being reckless and short-tempered and prone to whatever-it-was-that-you-were-gonna-say?”

The shy tone grasped Astrid’s attention. Raphaëlle very rarely sounded anything else than self-confident. She logically concluded that she must still be upset.

“Once again, I am sorry for hurting you.”

“I- No, it’s okay. Really. I-I know I’m all of those things. I just… I wanted to make sure that you knew that I’m working on it.”

“Working on it?”

Raphaëlle didn’t need any light to know that the blonde was furrowing her brows. “I’m trying to manage it better. For you. For Théo. And a little bit for myself too, I guess. I could use it.”

“Ah.”

A beat passed in silence.

Then two.

“It is very considerate and noble of you, Raphaëlle. I am pleased that you are trying.”

“I could say the same thing to you. I’m very proud of you for trying. But just so we’re on the page-“

“On the same page?”

Raphaëlle mentally gave herself a small slap on the back of the head. Astrid and her weren’t even in the same book, never mind them trying to be on the same page.

“I want you to know that you don’t have to listen to Nirvana, or any other rock bands for that matter if you don’t want to. Just because Théo has really great puppy eyes doesn’t mean he should be able to get away with everything he wants.”

“I was actually the one who asked him about it.”

The commander was bewildered. She certainly hadn’t seen this one coming. “What? Why?”

“I noticed that he has a liking towards rock. As you know, I prefer classical music, so I did some extensive research onto rock and roll. I stumbled upon Nirvana and I remembered Théo quoting Mr. Cobain to me so I concluded he must liked this band,” she leaned in closer to the brunette, until their shoulders were touching. “Théo was nice enough to carefully handpick the songs for me as he knows I am sound-sensitive. Even though it is not the style of music I enjoy listening to the most, he looked really happy about sharing this part of him with me.”

The brunette wouldn’t be able to fight off the big smile that ate most of her face if she tried. Astrid was so caring with Théo, her heart swelled with love for this woman. What had she done right to deserve such a perfect girlfriend?

“I love you, you know that, right?”

“Ah! I, in fact, do know that. You tell me so every night.”

Raphaëlle chuckled at her excitement. Astrid smiled widely as the symptoms of love once again submerged her. Those three little words always seem to do it.

“Kiss good night?” Astrid said.

It was usually Raphaëlle’s move, but she was more than happy to hear to the request falling out of the girlfriend’s mouth.

“Come here.”

Astrid wiggled closer and carefully felt around until her hand found the other woman’s neck. She hiked her way up to cup her jaw and her thumb gently came to stroke the cheek back and forth. The skin felt like silk under the fingertips and her heartbeat sped up even more when the Commander leaned into the touch, a soft sigh of relief piercing the stillness surrounding them.

In the darkness, she deduced Raphaëlle’s head placement from her hold and their current positions. Once she had figured that out, Astrid strategically tilted her head the other way and inched closer. Their lips brushed against each other’s and Raphaëlle was keen to wrap an arm around her waist, gently pulling her closer.

Astrid’s body tingled all over and when she applied more pressure into the kiss, she became light headed. Raphaëlle’s lips were plump and tender against her own.

She didn’t know exactly how to explain what she was feeling. She was overwhelmed, yes, but it had nothing to do with what she was feeling when she was on the verge of a meltdown. She felt… overwhelmingly good. Admittedly, a little shaky but predominantly good. Great even.

Air became an issue so she eventually pulled away.

“Sweet dreams, darlin’,” Raphaëlle mumbled out and gave her one last peck before pulling away.

“Good night, Raphaëlle. I love you too.”


End file.
